Saturday

Ahhh…Saturdays. I LOVE them! Even though I have to get up early to pump (ugh) I get to go back to sleep because my wonderful hubby always gets up with Eli on Saturday morning. 😀
I think I need some more sleep so I can recharge. I’m one tired mama!

Speaking of sleeping, it’s 7am and Eli has been asleep since 6pm yesterday. I officially hate vaccines. 😦 hoping my boy is back to himself today. I just want my little man back!

Have a great weekend- I’m resting up and recharging! 20120728-070945.jpg Missing my happy boy!

Knocked Down

This week has been a trying one. I apologize in advance for all the venting- it’s like a flip switched and we went from simply enjoying our son to fretting about everything. I want to go back to just enjoying Eli.

Between feeling frustrated that I’m not doing enough for him, to being run ragged by insurance companies and physical therapy providers to Eli’s vaccines. It’s been rough. Im not gonna lie- I finally cried today.

I spent 3 hours this morning trying to find pediatric therapy in our area that accepts our insurance. And when I find one it’s either out of network or they have a waiting list for PT services.
So I called insurance to see if they could find some place for me. After 45 minutes with one lady, I wound up with 2 numbers neither of which wound up being for pediatric PT.
Defeat.
I finally spoke to one lady who broke down the out-of-network costs which made my throat swell and eyes water. Crazy expensive. Why does this have to be so difficult?!
She then sent me back to the Medicaid route.
We never applied because we were told Eli didn’t qualify based on our income. But then we were told his diagnosis automatically qualified him. Ugh. So after being transferred all over the place I finally spoke with a nice lady who offered to mail me forms. *sigh*

Add to that a fussy baby. This stressed and doubtful mama has had enough.
Eli hasn’t been himself all day after his vaccine yesterday. He is listless, grouchy, tire and has glossy eyes and wouldn’t smile. When he finally did give me a smile I cried again. I hate this. A vaccine that’s supposed to protect him has changed my little man. I was already questioning the decision and now I’m feeling terrible for the choice we made. I just want my little man back. And I just want to get him what he needs. 😦 why does it have to be so difficult?

Our OT comes on Monday morning. I will be looking into getting him evaluated for ST and PT then. I just feel defeated today. But it will be a new day and we will figure this out.

In the mean time, I’m looking for suggestions for good PT work outs for little man. Help!

Pray he feels better soon and gets back to his old self so this nervous mama can relax a bit. It’s been a rough week!!!

Vaccines

20120726-211108.jpgToday we made the HUGE decision to start Eli’s vaccines. This has been a touchy subject since he was conceived and as I stood in the small exam room holding my son, I knew it had all come down to the next few minutes.
Soon the nurse would come in and a decision would be made that couldn’t be undone.
I held Eli close and tried to ignore the long wait time for the vaccine. They were making it easy for me to gather up our things and run. We waited an hour.

In between that we were seen by the doctor, who answered all my questions about Eli’s flat spot, supplements, blood tests, and breast feeding. He confirmed that Eli looked great and then proceeded to use the word “anus” so much that I had to laugh while he spoke. I’m rude. I know.
Eli hadn’t pooped in 4 days (sorry, son, just stating the facts) so Dr. H suggested ways that I could help him.
Nope. Not kidding.
Use your imagination.

So anyway, between our poop talk and Eli looking great, I was left with my scary vaccine thoughts while we waited.
It was better than expected but I don’t feel any better about the decision hours later. Mostly because this was only the first of many anxiety-inducing vaccines in our near future. We all just want what’s best for our kids, which has been the theme for this week. So how do you know when/what’s right? My “gut” sucks at telling me what’s best. Lol so instead I distracted myself with a play date and sewing project.
All I know at the end of today is that Eli is healthy and I seriously need a sewing machine.