3dp3dt

Well, I’m back to work today and feeling good. I sang all the way to work (even car-danced lol) and walked in just beaming. It felt so good to get back in there. My kids did just fine without me and the week is nearly over! lol I need more weeks to start on a Wednesday please! 🙂
Not to mention all the hugs and love I got upon my return. This year is so different because I’m not replacing someone…I am the someone. The kids are used to me, the way my room runs and seeing me around. It feels good to get all those hugs and watch them light up when I come into the room. It’s hard to feel bad or have a crummy day when you are constantly getting loved on like that.

One of my very best friends is nearly finished with the loooong wait for adoption/foster and it looks like she will be a mommy any day now. I am so excited for her…it’s almost scary. I can’t wait to spoil her child rotten and be the cool Aunt Ashley.

AND, another one of my very best friends is coming into town this weekend to stay. I STILL need to come up with fun stuff for us to do, but I’ve been pre-occupied. lol
So, I waited all afternoon to find out about our remaining embies. I somehow feel that if any of those made it to the blast stage, that the ones we got back will too. I know that is not how it works, but still.
Never got the call. Of course. So I harrassed Dr. H’s assistant and should hear something tomorrow.
While I was looking at the dates for that, I realized my beta is scheduled for a Friday…and that I won’t be able to drive to Houston to get my blood drawn. Which means a much much longer wait (a whole weekend!) before we would know something. I’m thinking I may ask for it to be moved up…he has it set for 11dpt, but I am pretty sure it can be done 10dpt. *sigh* I’m impatient, I know.

Had another acupuncture treatment and then visited the brand new HEB that just opened up near my house. Be jealous.

Symptoms thus far:
-occassional tugging or pulling feeling in uterus
-cramps that range from feeling like AF, to barely-there-dull, to nothing
-a weird soreness/pressure when I sit a certain way
-the boobies went from (.)(.) to (o)(o)

I know I am really good at having symptoms and I realize being on progesterone and everything else can cause many of these symptoms.
Not holding my breath, ladies, but there it is.
Speaking of meds, I got out all the needles I used for the first part of our IVF. I am blown away by how many times I actually stuck myself!! Go me!! lol
2 bruises on the tummy and 2 on the thigh. I think I made out pretty good:

Lupron- 20
Follistim- 10
Menopur- 8
Mixing Needles- 10
Novarel- 1

Now it’s forum time…gotta go stalk my fertility friends

Stimulation Day 1

Today feels a bit like a crummy day but I am trying to be positive. I had to get up early to go to a fine arts inservice. It was great to see old friends and meet new ones! I definitely made some new friends today. 🙂

I had to leave early because of my scan and appointment at 1:30. So off I went. Waited in line to get an EZ tag and then drove in silence all the way there. I was planning out what I would say to Dr. H.
Once there, I just shut down. I barely spoke to him or smiled. He came in and did my scan. Lining was at 4.3mm right now and ovaries were quiet with 7 quiet follicles each. He said it looked great. I had a baseline blood draw and then we had a consult. That was my moment to discuss it all with him, but I didn’t. We went through my meds, set up my next appointment, paid Dr. H’s professional fee and that was it. During our consult he asked how my family was and giggled say, “I love it!” in a kidding fashion. Then on my way out he asked me to tell my family hello, and asked how each person was. At this point he was being a bit of a smarty. I barked back, “I came all on my own today.” To which he replied, “You don’t have your family hiding in the waiting room or waiting in the car?”….NO.
“Well, I will see you next time! I will tell Kelli you said ‘Hi'”. (Kelli is the office manager I befriended but I guess that was wrong too?)
So apparently I am viewed as needy. I left feeling like I was the butt of some joke.
Don’t get me wrong, everything was said in a fun and playful tone, but it didn’t make it less hurtful. I should have said something, but I just didn’t have anymore fight in me.

The good news is that I know my doctor is good and we are starting stimulation tonight. I feel confident in his ability and I just need to remember: what’s done is done. I am going to try my very best to not email my doctor at all or take anything personally. This is my journey and I’m doing it my way.

Anyway, next I have to go to the dentist and then it’s home to make Barry dinner and relax. I am so tired. That is one of the benefits of in-service…forces me to get back into a routine. 😛

Ok…more on my stimulation once I do the shots tonight.

LATER…
At the dentist I thought I was going to fall asleep. And the waiting room smelled like old farts. 😦 AND I saw that I had gotten pen on my shirt somehow. ugh…
I also found out that I have one new cavity. Dentist was pretty pushy about getting it done, but my doctor told me to hold off while in cycle. I want to take care of it, but I can’t.

I got home and read up on my shots, watched my videos and got ready to do them, when I realized that my doctor told me to do 75ui and the syringe was marked 3ml.
Yeah.
So I wound up emailing him. 😦 But got it taken care of quickly. The Follistim is in a pen, like an epi pen. It was very similiar to the Lupron but required some math because I only needed to use 225 of the 300…so the rest of my doses will be spaced out between 2 different vials to save the meds. Which means 4 shots total in a day.
The Menopur BURNED so bad that I doubled over. That was awful…and I have 3 more scheduled days to take it but likely more depending on how I respond.
Bright spot in all of this is that Barry came home, took care of the dogs, emptied the dishwasher, made dinner and put it all away. He is so sweet. 🙂
And I feel better about my doctor situation. I think I am taking things way too personally and I need to just let it be. It’s done and I am happy with where we are right now. I don’t need something else getting in the way.
ugh…that Menopur though. oh-em-gee…I did not like that at all. It’s difficult to give yourself a shot when it hurts. I think Barry will have to take that one over.

Lupron s/e:
-less bloated, but still bloated
-weepy…I can cry on command

Ok, I am so tired from all my inservice it’s not even funny. Time for some relaxation on the couch! Tomorrow is a bright and shiny new day!

Seriously??

You all have read about how I adore my doctors. They have been amazing and avaliable and super supportive. And you also know that I have lot of questions and concerns and this whole process is so new to me that it brings up even more questions and concerns.
That being said, I think I finally broke my doctor. lol Not only was he completely confused but he got a bit testy.
If you would just answer my questions and not get my calendar mixed up with the calendar of others…we would be fine.
I still love him, but geeze…
(P.S. If I knew how to make a cut so you didn’t have to read all of this stuff I would, but I have NO clue!! So sorry!)

ME: On my calendar it says I should contact you when I start my period. My last bcp was on Friday. It’s difficult to tell what’s going on down there because I’ve been spotting for 40+ days, so it’s just another day…no period as fas as I can tell but I don’t know if this is cause for concern yet. Should I count bright red bleeding as CD1 or wait until I’m seeing clots and cramping?

DR. H: Are you on lupron now??

ME: I’ve been on Lupron10 since August 5th. I’m supposed to drop it to 5 when I start stimulation meds.

DR. H: Ashley,
Can you come to my St. J office TOMORROW at 130 pm? I will go over everything to get your stimulation started. Bring your medications in your box you have received. We will scan you, do labs, and set up your calendar. I will be there the entire day.
You should get an email about the appointment.
Thanks,
Dr. H

ME: I’m really confused…I already have a calendar and I have already been on Lupron for 10 days now.
I’m not due for labs until Tuesday.
Have I misunderstood my calendar or done something incorrectly?
Do you need a copy of my calendar?

DR. H: Actually NO I looked on the schedule and you ARE scheduled for Tuesday at the Center. I think I have looked at 10 calendars recently!!!! With 4 new pregnancies, 5 patients stimulating, and 4 about to start their cycle, I got a little off. So sorry about that.
Ok, I will see YOU on tuesday at the fertility center. Now, make sure you only take 5U of Lupron in the morning on tuesday prior to your appointment. I will recheck the lining.
If you get an email for St. J, please IGNORE!
Thanks,
Dr. H

ME: WHEw!!! I was freaking out for a second. I totally understand, though. Thanks for clearing that up.
Ok, so what about my original question about my period? Just let it be and wait to see what happens? I’m still spotting just no period.

DR. H: Spotting ok. Probably related to BCP. You to 100 emails and texts so we start to charge 10 cents for each additional!
See you soon.
Oh, one more thing. You have been APPROVED for your loan through medical financing! So we will take care of this for you.

ME: Thank you for letting me know about the loan.
I’m no longer on the bcp. I ended them Friday and should have my period soon but nothing, which was my original question.
And I will pay the extra 10 cents per message. 😛

DR. H: No period is fine! Continue Lupron and see you soon.

He has made me feel bad for having questions and I was questioning whether to email him in the first place for this very reason. Maybe I’m just being a girl and reading way too much into it…and it is through email, so it’s difficult to get the context. *sigh* At least I got it all figured out. Stupid AF.

ANNNND after all of that, AF showed up. SERIOUSLY?! lol
I spoke to a friend on medhelp.com and she said she had the same thing happen to her. Bled for forever after her procedure but started stimulation and her cycle just fine. Apparently the uterus gets confused and angry and bleeds. lol Just what I need. But this is a good step in the right direction.
It is a weird AF, though. Not the usual gut wrencher. But whatever. I get to see my lovely doctor tomorrow and I am hoping for some good news/to start stimulation.

Now I beg the question:
-Play it cool and act normal when I see him?
-Get angry and explain how I feel and that this is my first time despite this being his career?
-Get in and get out, no need for friendlies

In other non-TTC related news. Today was the first day back to work and it was so strange. Of course, I barely slept last night because I couldn’t stop thinking about everything that needed to be done today. But it was so nice to get back to my schedule. To see all my friends. This year feels more like community for me. I feel more a part of the school. I know it helps that everyone is happy and well rested. 🙂
And now I am so tired it’s not even funny.
Time for dinner and some couch lounging. This work thing is going to kick my butt!!