So I have been working since we became pregnant on finding an OB to support a VBAC. I love love love my OB and his staff- they are family. But he doesn’t feel comfortable with a VBAC. He used to do them but doesn’t anymore. I get it. It’s risky business. But I want the chance to try. When I was in labor with Eli, I had no idea. I felt great and showed up the hospital only because Barry insisted. I was 6-7cm dilated when I arrived. I could have totally had a baby right then.
But I had a c section because Eli was breech and I am ok with that. I know what to expect. It was not terrible for me and I know looking back it wasn’t ideal, but not a huge deal.
My fears at this point would be that each birth is different and who knows how I will feel after my surgery? (With Eli, I was walking around the next day and off all pain meds by day three.) I will have 3 small children to take care of and I can’t afford to be laid up in bed recovering.
I know, I know. A VBAC has risks. I could still be laid up recovering even if I did have a VBAC. Not to mention all the other risks: http://www.childbirthconnection.org/article.asp?ck=10210
I am also concerned about the process. C section limits my time with Wyatt. I would not be able to hold him immediately, breastfeed or anything like that. All things I want- instead of just his head poked over the curtain for a quick look.
It’s been hard to find a doctor who would consider working with me. My only true viable options are: 1- to stick with my OB now (who will likely string me along until I am too far along to change doctors, then tell me: my baby is too big, my pelvis is too small, it’s too risky, he won’t stay for my whole labor…the list goes on and it equals no VBAC). 2- Home birth, which scares the poop out of me. If I hadn’t already had a c section, I wouldn’t think twice about it. I would have a home birth. But that’s just not the case and I want to make sure I am as safe as possible when it comes to birth.
But c section is not without risks too- especially repeat c section. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/c-sections/AN02070
We are so used to surgery that it’s become an every day thing. A c section is seen as no big deal. In my situation, both a c section and VBAC are concerns.
So what to do? I’m working with my doula on a plan we feel comfortable with. We are meeting with a midwife and I am talking with another OB. My doula is helping with more babay spinning techniques and we will just see where it goes.
When I was pregnant with Eli, I was so upset about my birth plan not going the way I wanted. Jealous even of other’s births.
Now, today, what I am worried about is having a healthy baby at the end. Yes I want a VBAC. But I don’t know how hard I am willing to fight for a VBAC.
It feels silly to even say that, but my baby and my health are most important. We will see…who knows? This baby my stay breech and then I won’t have a choice. -_- lol