The Big Job Stress

This post is a downer and I apologize, but I haven’t spoken much about our situation and my heart is heavy with it today. Bear with me. 🙂

This week I feel suddenly burdened, suddenly fearful and suddenly worried. Since May, I have been floating along trusting in the “plan”. I mean, the timing for Barry loosing his job was more than ironic…he had already brought up the idea of looking for something else and the same day we signed adoption paperwork was the day he was let go. So I just accepted that it was meant to be and trusted that God would provide. And He has!
But now I am standing here, heavy with demons on my back, worried for our family. I’m left wondering “why?”, “when?”, and “how?”.

To loose your job right before a new baby comes into your family, then have your wife get pregnant and have zero prospects for how we will survive is scary.

It’s not just Barry and I anymore. There is more at stake and I’m beginning to worry.
It’s not only hard on a family, but I think it is more difficult for Barry. Especially because he has been working very hard to find something. When recruiters don’t return phone calls, when applications are filled out and entered into an enormous database, when nothing seems to be the right fit…it wears on you. I think where Barry is at now makes the whole process more frustrating. He is weary and down on his luck. He wants to provide for our family. He is tired, bored, frustrated, unchalleneged and ready for something new.
Is there something we are missing? Not doing?

Ultimately I know things will work out. We will be ok and the right job will come along. But it’s scary to discuss the possibilities…loosing our house, having Barry take a job on a rig where he will be gone most of the time, working more than one job…all of these things and more are possibilities that we have to be ok with and prepare for.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'” (Jeremiah 29:11-13, NIV)

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-7, NIV)

Today, on the way in to work, nearly every song that you could possibly imagine to lift someone up in a time of need played. And then at school, Miley Cyrus’ song The Climb played. On my phone, Florence + The Machine’s Shake It Out played. And of course I cried. All morning. I hear you, Lord. I’m waiting, I’m praying and I’m working to give this one to You completely.

A huge thank you to my friends and family who are praying through this with us.


8 Replies to “The Big Job Stress”

  1. Hugs, dear friend! Hang in there! Believe me, I know how scary and stressful it is to float along and not know how you’re going to make the next mortgage payment, or buy groceries for the week. Miraculously, it always works out and it makes you all the more humble and grateful for all that you have. As I read this post, and the paragraph talking about Barry and his frustrations, which I greatly understand, all I could think is his job of caring for the kiddos IS a challenge, and he IS providing for your family in the most important way. I know you know that. Perhaps this is exactly what your family needs for the time being. I do understand how men feel like they should be the “bread-winners,” however, speaking from experience, when the tables were turned for us too and Steve was a stay-at-home dad for a while, as much as he wanted to work and be “productive,” he really enjoyed having that time with Ethan and later missed it when he did return to the workforce. I know Barry is enjoying his time with your munchkins as well. The best advice I can give is take it one day at a time, and live in the present. This always serves me well when things are not working according to plan. And really, the worst that can happen is not as bad as you think. You have so many loving and caring people, you will NEVER be homeless or have empty bellies EVER! Speaking of which, you guys need to come over for dinner soon! Love you all bunches!!! xoxo

  2. I know how stressful this is. My husband was let go from 2 jobs in 3 years due to downsizing and it was more than stressful. The second time I was due to have a baby in 2 weeks. Somehow we got a great job that allowed us to be moved back to NC. I will pray for you all. Keep your head up and trusting in God. And kiss those blessings of yours! Thinking of you all today.

  3. Ashley and Barry! This post has me in years of sorrow and joy! I can’t begin to understand the place you are in I am so sorry and mark and I pray daily. Mark is going to different people daily looking and asking.
    My joy in this post is the confidence you have in Jesus to provide and rescue you. He will. Please don’t loose hope or faith. He is carrying your family right now this time Barry is getting with the kids heat not get again. Soak it up brother! This is a blessing during this season. I know a saman it sucks you need to provide. You are! More than you know brother!
    I don’t know what God has planned on your journey here. I know He wants us to love and obey and reach the lost. If you are living like you know to leave, trust Him try to enjoy the little things! Mark and I are here to help where we can.
    Again I can’t start to understand where you are God will provide!
    I love you all each one! Please reach out to us for any need, Barry you know I am home if you need a break for a bit drop them off whith me.
    We love y’all
    Mark and Amy

  4. Hello! I decided to leave a comment after reading your blog because in 2011 that was my exact feeling. I was struggling with infertility and while I was in treatment, my hubby lost his job w/the Federal Government. It was scary, but we were hopeful that something will come up. First thing we did was look into our finances, budget properly and I sold my BMW (because that was something material that really wasn’t important). We pray a lot… he went to multiple interviews, job fairs, etc etc… With time he became worried, stressed and feeling not man enough to support his family. In the middle of all this I finally get pregnant with my miracle girl in 2012. I have to say that God has a plan for everything and His timing is perfect. In my human mind I couldn’t understand why now… why preggo now when financially we are not good. But I continued to give my tithes and trusting the Lord Almighty. He never fail us… (BTW we got our house in 2010 so I was also afraid of loosing it). I was so tired… but one day I went to church and I felt the sermon was just for me… I was that person… tired, sad, with a lot of stress on my marriage.. but God knows it all. He wants us to trust Him without any doubts… without fear. That’s when he glorifies himself. God will never leave you… He is with you through this valley… but soon you will be on top of the mountain. My hubby and I decided to continue moving forward, he accepted a job that was paying a lot less than what he had, but hey it works. HE was only temporary there.. but he was feeling better. I delivered Dec 2012 and at the end of Nov, God opened the door for him to start to work for another company as a permanent employee. Good salary and benefits. Praise God for his faithfulness and because his promises for YOU and YOUR family you will see them fullfilled. I don’t want to minimize the way you are feeling, just wanted to let you know that i walked that path before and that I felt the same way. But I also want to give you encouragement, and as your friends and family, I will be praying for you and Barry… God will open a door, but in the meantime we have to continue moving. Maybe he will get a job he doesn’t want/like at the moment… but don’t stop trusting God… when he does something he DOES IT BIG….. he is the God of Miracles and He will always be there for you and your beautiful family. God bless you.. big hug from California.

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