Mama Problems

Eli has been recovering from a mega cold that caused bronchitis and some major teething. In the middle of that, he has developed separation anxiety. It applies to both Barry and I, but mostly Barry.
Makes a mama feel really good.
But I guess it’s only natural since Barry is the one spending all his time with the kids.
It does stink for me, though, because when he leaves the room Eli will flat out breakdown. It doesn’t seem like anything I do will comfort him.
And as his mama, I want to comfort him.
I’ve tried distracting, holding him, ignoring him, re direction, singing, food lol I’m not sure how else to help him through it.

I’ve also seen him reacting poorly to other children and strangers. He wants nothing to do with other children. We have play dates and Eli will either cry, sit completely still and never move or try to push the child away. Other adults he’s not familiar with…forget about it.
I don’t know what to do about it except continue to expose him to other children.
I took him outside today, which he normally loves, and he wanted nothing to do with it. Just sat in one place. 😦
But we had a dinner family night at a very busy restaurant and he did great- even ate food straight from my plate. So I’m baffled.

AND!! He’s being a turkey about naps! He will sleep in his bed for 30-45 min but then wake up screaming. If I move him to our bed, he will go back to sleep- normally for another 2-3 hours! Otherwise he just cries and fusses for the rest of the day. At night he sleeps fine in his bed.
*sigh* so any suggestions?

Our speech therapist is coming out to watch him eat this week. I’m sure this will prompt some kind of major freak out for me. We have a lot to work on communication wise, and while I know that our therapists are out of the world amazing, I worry for Eli. As Eli gets older, his delays become more evident and it’s hard on this mama. I know he doesn’t care, and every child develops at their own pace, I just want him to be successful. 🙂 you know, mama bear and all.

So let me take a breath to say this- the Newman’s are having typical kid problems. Lol

Ds related? Nope. Just a 17 month old lol

On the upside- Ruby is doing awesome! Her acid reflux meds are helping so much, she has a great schedule, she is waking only once a night, and goes down easily for bed. She is a little angel…for now 😉

Ok, fix my mama problems for me. GO! 🙂

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8 Replies to “Mama Problems”

  1. I’m not a mama – but as a veteran elementary school teacher – I have come from the trenches of separation anxiety. Keep up your strategy of acting normal and exposing Eli to new people and other kids. That works. ….eventually. 🙂

  2. Hmmm…for the nap issue with Eli. Does he take more than one nap? Maybe its time to try just one nap. Also, does he have a lovey or something he sleeps with? That might make it easier for him to stay asleep. I know I’ve found with my older daughter that she needed a really dark room to sleep so we put up those pull down shades to really keep her room dark when she took a nap. We also do a sound machine too. Could be just the age too 🙂 I wouldn’t worry about the separation anxiety….that will pass soon enough and he’ll be back to loving on mama.

    1. Thanks girl- Eli’s room is dark for naps and bed time, he is down to one nap a day right after lunch, and he never took to a lovey though we have tried a bunch!
      The sound machine is an idea, but noise doesn’t seem to bother him. Between the daily stuff around the house and his baby sister screaming, he noramlly doesn’t budge. He just like our bed lol
      The separation anxiety is killing me though!!!

  3. you’ve got to put your foot down and not let him sleep in your bed. as much as you need the break, he’s just working you over and he needs to learn that screaming isn’t getting him out of his nap. Charlie is very attached to me but goes through phases of completely insanity where if I leave the area where is he is just cries and runs after me. I think it happens worse when he isn’t feeling well. have you checked for teeth lately? Rachel went through a terrible phase at around eli’s age for about a year or so where she got easily overwhelmed by new places and people, even if they came to our house. she would completely lose it. we didn’t have many play dates during that time. but, she has grown out of it. I have no idea what happened or why she was like that but she grew out of it. I think all you can do is just wait it out.

    1. Thanks girl. Yeah it was worse when he was cutting those teeth and sick. I had a cough and any time I would cough he would cry lol
      Now he isn’t teething and feels fine. So I think it’s just a phase like you described. He does seem overwhelmed even when they come to our house.
      As for the naps I guess that’s all I can do lol

  4. Just an idea off the top of my head. When daddy’s leaving the room, have him hand something to Eli and ask him to hold it for him till he gets back. That might help Eli to comprehend that Daddy IS going to come back. Never let Daddy sneak out of the room…any child would become fearful of turning away from a parent and they disappear. If Daddy was the cuddler/snuggler during the recent illness, that probably became Eli’s “happy/safe place” where he felt good. I wouldn’t want it to walk away either. Is there a “special” treat that Eli likes. Maybe it could be given to him only during Daddy absences till things settle back into a more regular “normal”. My heart is breaking for you…it’s a horrible feeling to be the mommy and not feel able to make your little one feel secure. But I promise you…THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

    1. That’s a good idea I will try that.
      He has always favored his daddy but to be honest it’s happening even when Barry leaves the room and goes to another room but is within Eli’s line of vision.

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