{Hope}

20120527-222305.jpgI’m sitting here at 1am after a very busy week, pumping away with a huge grin on my face. I should be tired and cranky…we have been running around with something new and fun to do every day, I’ve managed to add even more pumpings to my day and Eli has decided to sleep less at night. I’m pooped!! But I’m grinning.
You see, it’s my routine, at 1am, to check my Facebook, stalk my favorite blogs and check my own blog. Keeps me awake while I am questioning why the heck I am up at 1am. Lol
So why I am grinning despite the fact I should be sleeping and have had a busy week? I was checking my blog like I always do when I discovered I had a visitor. Someone who just received a prenatal diagnosis of Ds for their unborn peanut.

Part of me immediately went back to that sad place when we found out. To the day where I knew without a doubt in my heart that Eli had Ds. To all my fears, my tears and my days researching on google. To when I finally reached out to the Ds community for the first time and to the peace and calm I finally gained while waiting for Eli to arrive.
That part of me only visited the past for an instant because I’m living a much better reality. Out life is infinitely better than I could have ever imagined…better than any medical diagnosis or book could prepare me for. Its life with a newborn and it’s so amazing.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that Eli does in fact have Ds. But honestly it’s just not a factor in our lives. This little guy is so loved! Every where we go, people love on him. Our families have completely fallen for Eli- ready to scoop him out of our arms when we walk in the door.
This child is a blessing and I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it.

So I’m grinning because I’m happy. Happy for this momma and her baby’s future. Happy that my blog was able to reach someone- after all, it’s exactly why I’ve shared so much. Hopeful I can reach others and show them the exciting future they have in store- banish their fears and the stereotypes.
This is a life worth keeping, hoping for and loving. I don’t have all the answers and I worry just like any other mother would. But holding my son makes all that other stuff obsolete.

If you have found my blog today because you had a “screen positive” on routine bloodwork, just received a diagnosis of down syndrome for your child, you’ve taken the MaterniT21 test or you are just searching for answers, I hope my blog can help. I’ve been honest about my fears and the process I had to go through to gain acceptance. But none of it matters anymore because Eli is here and he’s perfect. I pray you can see that and that hope can begin to grow in your heart. Hope for the exciting future in store for your family!

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