24 weeks 1lb 7ozYesterday I had a quick visit to my MFM just to check Eli’s growth. This was at the very same office where the nurse was so rude to me, so I almost didn’t go to the appointment but now I am glad I did!
Normally, Eli is facing down with his face towards my spine so it’s been difficult to get a good look at him. But at some point he flipped and is now in the breech position and gave us the perfect view. The first thing Dr. R did was switch his machine to 4D and capture these images.
What a doll!! He is just perfect! I was so giddy with excitement that I barely paid attention to anything else.
Dr. R took all his measurements and concluded that Eli was perfect (tell me something I don’t know!). He is measuring right on target and weighs 1lb 7oz.
He commented that even knowing our diagnosis that he would never ever tell us that he suspected a thing. That based on his facial features and very good health- he would never have ordered an amnio or suggested Ds. Goes to show how much we just don’t know in this life! Technology is great but we are still human.
We are blessed to prepare ahead of time, but seeing his face simply made my whole week. I can’t wait to kiss that nose!
I don’t think I realized how sad I truly was until I saw his face. I started reading a book that the DSAH sent me in a care package. The book was written in 1995 and in general has a negative tone about it. It’s informative (even if outdated) but the overall negativity and politically correct slant on Down syndrome has been weighing heavy on my heart for a few days. Lists of medical problems, reviews of what Down syndrome is, pictures from the 90’s of babies with Ds…and the constant use of the phrase “mental retardation” is frankly discouraging. I’ve been putting myself to sleep with this book waiting for it to give me some kind of hope, inspiration or new information about my son.
And then I saw his face and a sadness I didn’t even know I had was instantly pushed away. He’s not just a grainy image on the screen with some obscure facial features. He’s not just a list of medical conditions and some outdated books definition of what Down syndrome means. That is Eli. That is is face- the child we created together- equally Barry and myself. That precious little face has somehow changed something inside of me. If other women only knew that they were giving up that all because of two scary words like Down syndrome…well…they sure are missing out.