We haven’t gotten much further than we were yesterday.
I’m really blown away and overwhelmed by the support, love and prayers we have received from family and friends. It means a lot and we appreciate it.
I’m also equally blown away by the “I’m so sorry” comments or pity. We get to feel sorry for ourselves…no one else. He is still a blessing…our blessing and we want him no matter what.
Am I less scared? No. I woke up this morning and got moving but promptly stopped and wound up back on the couch.
Its still there. Still the same. Our baby has down syndrome. But what we need are prayers and support, not pity and apologies.
Barry is like a rock right now. He is just as sad as I am but he is so firm in his faith. He is excited to see our son and learn from him.
I feel weak in comparison. I’m scared. Isn’t that silly? I’m scard of and for my son.
I spent some time last night looking for resources but it was pretty useless. I was too frazzeled to be productive. Not to mention how much is out there. I don’t know where to begin.
We are supposed to meet with Dr. C on Monday to discuss “options” and ask questions. But most of my questions can’t be answered.
-How severe is it? ….we won’t know until he gets here.
-What complications will he face? ….we won’t know until he gets here.
-Is there something wrong with my eggs? (Seriously still taking applications for egg and sperm donors! ‘Cause this crazy lady wants to do this again!)
-Will I be able to go back to work?
-Can I do this?
Pretty short list and personal list.
MJ is going to contact a woman that gave birth with them 6 or so weeks ago to a baby with DS to see what resources she is using. I found a DS support group but they meet in Houston. And I did learn that special services start nearly right after birth.
-How much do special services cost?
So I guess I am still processing. All day and all night baby wiggled around…”See Mom? I’m just fine!”
Trying to bend to God’s will….however ungracefully.