“Little Victories” Isn’t Working!!

I’m worried about my next beta and I just realized our first scan is an estimated 9 days away (hCG has to get above 4000 for the first scan). So far away!!

Yesterday I had a student go off in my room (Mom is convinced my job is too dangerous). I instinctively grabbed him to restrain, since I am still CPI certified. He, of course, resisted and that was when I realized grabbing him was a terrible idea for a pregnant lady.
I guess I still need to get used to that idea. Pregnant.
I had some cramps afterwards, which of course panicked me. I spoke to my nurse and doctor who both said, “Nothing to worry about”. Go home, rest, feet up, lots of fluids.
I keep looking up other womens’ stories to find some comfort.
Lifting their toddlers, having jobs that require them to lift heavy objects, working out throughout the pregnancy…but it doesn’t make me feel better.

I just don’t want to have messed this up after all this hard work. Google has assured me that chromosomal abnormailities cause miscarriage, not lifting a massive 5 year old in a restraint position.

I had an acupuncture appointment right after work yesterday, so that did help me feel a bit more relaxed. And Barry was amazingly helpful/sweet. When I got home, he had a little place set up for me to have my legs propped up, lots of water and a book. He made dinner and we watched a movie.
I feel better today. I don’t want to spend this entire pregnancy worrying. But we don’t have a normal pregnancy.
😦 I hate all this worrying!


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