No Embies Left

Finally got a call from my doctor. No embryos made it. A bit discouraging but it doesn’t mean anything at this point.
Just a good wake up call. Can’t put all my hopes in this.
Dr. H said the sperm quality was just that bad, whatever that means. He said it was still possible to get pg with what we have now, so to keep taking my meds and go from there.
It’s kind of hard to think about continuing my meds when I know that this probably didn’t work. We have worked hard, sacrificed so much and come so far. Stopping my meds would be easier…but if one of these embies actually made it…well…I dunno. I can’t help but feel sad. This whole time it hasn’t really bothered me that we had embryos in a lab somewhere…it feels like such an abstract concept. But now that I know they didn’t make it, well, that hurts.

So I guess its back to positive affirmations and fertile thoughts.
I’m not going to allow myself to be upset over this. On the plus side, I seriously have THE best support group, family and friends.
A very dear friend of mine called today to see how we were doing through this whole process. It was so nice to finally visit with her. 🙂 Anyway, as I caught her up on everything she just lifted me up! Told me how much she loved Barry and I, what a great couple we were, how we deserved this, how impressed she was with my outlook…just blew me away. But then…she put something on the table that just nearly brought me to tears.
She offered to be a surrogate. Wow.
I mean, you hear of people doing that…but wow. What an amazing sacrifice to make for someone. I really am blessed.
I hope it never comes to that, and I know we still have options, but I am in shock and this complete and full love I have been shown. God, you just love me more and more every day and I am so unworthy! Thank you!

Barry and I know that if this doesn’t work, we have other options. There is the possibility of another fresh cycle, finances willing, or donor sperm (just introduced this idea, which I know he wasn’t fond of, but I needed to plant the seed of preparation). So hopefully it never comes to surrocacy, or my friend my be re-thinking her offer! 😉
She is 100% convinced that I am indeed pg. I’m not willing to bet anything on it right now.

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2 Replies to “No Embies Left”

  1. You are miles away from a surrogate….you have so many other options. Good for you to plant the seed of ‘sperm donor’, our DH’s need to warm up to these things. We’ve been pregnant twice (although we miscarried) and my DH’s sperm is of really poor morphology as well. Don’t give up on your own biology yet! Thinking of you.

    1. Thanks girl, I so appreciate it. We haven’t given up, but I just want to consider the options, you know? Be prepared…and there is still a chance with this cycle, so I have that. The true issue is money. We know we have lots of options (and I truly don’t believe surrogcacy is the answer), but we are so in debt from this IVF cycle and everything else leading up to it. It’s overwhelming. But we will get through it. 🙂
      You are so positive!! 🙂 How do you do it? If you don’t mind me asking, were your m/c after IVF cycles?

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