Today feels a bit like a crummy day but I am trying to be positive. I had to get up early to go to a fine arts inservice. It was great to see old friends and meet new ones! I definitely made some new friends today. 🙂
I had to leave early because of my scan and appointment at 1:30. So off I went. Waited in line to get an EZ tag and then drove in silence all the way there. I was planning out what I would say to Dr. H.
Once there, I just shut down. I barely spoke to him or smiled. He came in and did my scan. Lining was at 4.3mm right now and ovaries were quiet with 7 quiet follicles each. He said it looked great. I had a baseline blood draw and then we had a consult. That was my moment to discuss it all with him, but I didn’t. We went through my meds, set up my next appointment, paid Dr. H’s professional fee and that was it. During our consult he asked how my family was and giggled say, “I love it!” in a kidding fashion. Then on my way out he asked me to tell my family hello, and asked how each person was. At this point he was being a bit of a smarty. I barked back, “I came all on my own today.” To which he replied, “You don’t have your family hiding in the waiting room or waiting in the car?”….NO.
“Well, I will see you next time! I will tell Kelli you said ‘Hi'”. (Kelli is the office manager I befriended but I guess that was wrong too?)
So apparently I am viewed as needy. I left feeling like I was the butt of some joke.
Don’t get me wrong, everything was said in a fun and playful tone, but it didn’t make it less hurtful. I should have said something, but I just didn’t have anymore fight in me.
The good news is that I know my doctor is good and we are starting stimulation tonight. I feel confident in his ability and I just need to remember: what’s done is done. I am going to try my very best to not email my doctor at all or take anything personally. This is my journey and I’m doing it my way.
Anyway, next I have to go to the dentist and then it’s home to make Barry dinner and relax. I am so tired. That is one of the benefits of in-service…forces me to get back into a routine. 😛
Ok…more on my stimulation once I do the shots tonight.
At the dentist I thought I was going to fall asleep. And the waiting room smelled like old farts. 😦 AND I saw that I had gotten pen on my shirt somehow. ugh…
I also found out that I have one new cavity. Dentist was pretty pushy about getting it done, but my doctor told me to hold off while in cycle. I want to take care of it, but I can’t.
I got home and read up on my shots, watched my videos and got ready to do them, when I realized that my doctor told me to do 75ui and the syringe was marked 3ml.
So I wound up emailing him. 😦 But got it taken care of quickly. The Follistim is in a pen, like an epi pen. It was very similiar to the Lupron but required some math because I only needed to use 225 of the 300…so the rest of my doses will be spaced out between 2 different vials to save the meds. Which means 4 shots total in a day.
The Menopur BURNED so bad that I doubled over. That was awful…and I have 3 more scheduled days to take it but likely more depending on how I respond.
Bright spot in all of this is that Barry came home, took care of the dogs, emptied the dishwasher, made dinner and put it all away. He is so sweet. 🙂
And I feel better about my doctor situation. I think I am taking things way too personally and I need to just let it be. It’s done and I am happy with where we are right now. I don’t need something else getting in the way.
ugh…that Menopur though. oh-em-gee…I did not like that at all. It’s difficult to give yourself a shot when it hurts. I think Barry will have to take that one over.
-less bloated, but still bloated
-weepy…I can cry on command
Ok, I am so tired from all my inservice it’s not even funny. Time for some relaxation on the couch! Tomorrow is a bright and shiny new day!