Yesterday was a long day! But it was productive…I got a lot of things done in my room. It’s pretty much finished, just a few kinks…like my front computer doesn’t seem to be completely plugged in and despite my unplugging and reorganizing all the plugs, I cannot get it to turn on.
Everything else that needs to be done can be done from home, which is the plan for today.

Last night we had dinner with friends and I met some new friends. That was fun and Cayrn made some yummy, fresh, vegan food. I always like to eat at her house.
All the women at her house were teachers, so we giggled all night about “teacher stuff”.
We left early because I started to get a headache (1st Lupron side effect??) but it was fun.

Last night I sat up reading the KO Class Reunion FB page and just nearly deleted myself. Apparently there is a person that was added because they were friends with others but did not graduate in our class. Well some guy posted a comment basically asking the admin to remove her because she sucked. Seriously??
This of course started a huge fight and people were super nasty. And it resulted in 28272636738292029 notifications. Special…
It just makes me so sad that the people I went to HS with have changed very little. There is a reason why I was a total nerd/outcast/quite person when it came to them. Their maturity level was that of a 5 year old and apparently still is. I’m greatful for the awesome friends that I still have from HS, but so glad I was able to move forward with my life. I just don’t have time for that foolishness.
Looking back, I wasted so many years after HS just dreaming of what could have been…how I could have been popular or done things differently. How certain people hurt me or discarded me after HS. Such a waste! It’s so much more clear now. Now that I have moved forward, branched out and changed/grown. Wow…

Moving on…
So my shot from yesterday and today did not hurt 🙂 I really think I got myself worked up and hesitated when injecting. I almost cried yesterday when it went it with no pain. lol Sad, I know. But when you have to give yourself a shot everyday and it hurts…it’s pretty challenging. If someone else were giving it to me it would be totally different. I can handle that. But let’s just say that shots suck no matter how you look at it.

Speaking of my TTC adventure, I was going through my old records from my OBGYN trying to clear things out. I found the paperwork from my first pregnancy. It didn’t make me sad but I was shocked to see a few things. My first beta was over 500. My second was over 1700! I didn’t even get to see my numbers when they ran them. My numbers were great…just my progesterone was bad (under 10 both times). And yet 2 days after being on progesterone, I was miscarrying. It’s just so crazy.
My D&C paperwork actually showed there was no fetal tissue at all so that means I must have passed it before the procedure. I had no idea…
I feel like I should be sad to find these things about, but it just makes me more frustrated with my doctor’s office that I was never informed. They never even told me I had MTHFR, I had to figure it out on my own.
I shredded the documents all the same. I don’t want to dwell on that. It seems almost a lifetime ago. I want to go forward with positive energy.

I posted my positive affirmations on in my bathroom today.
“I am Fertile”, “I am healthy”, “Stay Positive, trust your doctor”. I read those to myself every day and try to repeat them throughout the day.
My bleeding/spotting is acting like it wants to stop. I emailed Dr. H again to let him know I was still having this issue and that it concerned me. He replied that he did not think it was anything and probably caused by the birth control. If it continues after AF, then we will likely have an issue (the last part is my interpretation, not his words). Yesterday I just had one time I spotted…and today I swear I saw some clear cm even if it was mixed in with the rest.
So I am staying positive about it and trusting that my doctor knows what he is talking about. I do think Kotex needs to donate some stock options to me, seeing as how I am keeping them in business. haha

Lupron s/e so far:
-possible headache?? only once
-(.)(.) feel bigger
-OMG the acne

I guess that’s it for me. I think I am going to try to stay in my pj’s for as long as possible today. lol I only have 3 more days of freedom and then inservice starts. I can hardly believe it!!


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