MJ is my hero

Today I went in for my second beta just to verify what I already know…BFN. My spotting has increased a bit and it is a brighter red with some tiny little clots. My body is trying despite it all.
Anyway, I was supposed to have a consult with my doctor but apparently he wasn’t there. So Dr. Nanda came buzzing into my room about 45 minutes later. She looked flustered and irritated that I had questions. I explained to her the situation and expressed my concerns: are IUI’s really giving us an edge and helping us get pregnant, or should we consider something more aggressive?

Here is a summary of our conversation:
Dr. N: This was your first IUI, correct? Well, in my 20+ years, I have only seen 2-3 people get pregnant on their first one. It is unlikely that it will happen the first time. Your chances are only 30% but really it is just a numbers game. So who knows? Will sperm morphology play a part? Yes and no. It could, or it won’t. I would go through with at least 2-3 more cycles before even thinking about IVF.

Me: Well…my insurance covers IVF and I have the summer off. Doesn’t this seem like perfect timing?

Dr. N: There is no perfect timing. Of course, no one can tell you what to do, but I would do at least 2 more IUI’s. Let’s just see what the beta says and go from there.

Me: I think the progesterone is keeping AF at bay.

Dr. N: That’s unlikely, it will not do that. We always continue progesterone until your period comes or until about CD35. If still no period, we would test again, but we need to see what the bloodwork says first.

Me: Ok…(thinking…this goes against what all the women in my forums are saying. no AF with progesterone…)Since I am already getting my beta bloodwork today, and we are pretty sure I’m not pregnant, is there any other bloodwork that we could take care of today for beginning of my cycle bloodword?

Dr. N: No, we have your bloodwork from last month, that should be all we need. I know it’s frustrating but you need to be patient.

She was just unsympathetic in tone, in a hurry to get out of my room and unwilling to committ to really answering any of my questions. She did, but she didn’t. And if her delivery would have been better, I don’t think I would have been as upset.
So I had my bloodwork done to check hCG levels and left about to tears. I called Mary Jane to just let her know how I was feeling. I feel bad for always calling her but I didn’t know what else to do. She was so sweet, though and eager to talk. I explained our conversation and she completely disagreed. She said that of course, like Dr. N said, it is a numbers game and an IUI has about a 30% success rate. Not the greatest, but better than a normal couple trying. Then she laughed and said, “As for the sperm morphology issue…he has sperm, that’s all I care about. Just give me one good one.” lol And as for the IUI vs. IVF, “If your insurance covers it, I say, ‘Hell yes, go for it'”.
Sooo….it looks like we might actually be doing a cycle of IVF instead. wow…I didn’t think that would actually happen. I figured they would at least ask us to do a few more rounds of IUI…and I was ok with that as long as I had the assurance that it was worth it.
Anyway, she said she would discuss it all with Dr. Cook and not to listen to Dr. Nanda, that Dr. Cook is my doctor and they will do what is best because this is what he does, not Dr. Nanda. It looks like what is next is AF, then hysteroscopy (according to Dr. N, it’s less painful than getting a cavity filled…*eye roll*), then IVF. Wow…
I called Atena just to double check that IVF is covered. I made the lady on the phone repeat it like 4 times. lol So while I’m terrified of surgery and everything that is going into this, it’s worth it. Worth it for the odds, worth it for the emotional pain and worth it because my doctor is on board. Let’s do this!!

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