seriously, the human body is confusing

Ugh, last night was awful. I was just so discouraged!! I spoke to my RE and his nurse several times last night to try to ease my mind. Initially his nurse was iffy about doing the IUI. She said that she would take the gamble but that she could understand why I may be questioning it. Additionally, Erin pointed out that OPK would show a rise in LH surge, but if I already ovulated it wouldn’t show anything, and that 2cm is 19mm, which is big enough for me to ovulate on my own. So I freaked out. 😦
I went ahead with the shot, which should have been video taped, it was so funny. My sweet mom was cleaning the area with an alcohol soaked cotton ball and kept squinting and putting her face inches away from my hip in an attempt to see. I worried…lol can she not see the mark the bandaide left to show her where to stick me? What if she doesn’t stick it in far enough? eeek!!!
So then Sarah took the needle and she was holding it strange to me. When I asked her if she knew what she was doing, she smiled and nodded. I didn’t like that smile and I told her as much!! lol So she laughed. People!!! I was not doing so well. TP stepped in and saved the day. He gave the shot quickly and swiftly and then hugged me for a long time. Insert sigh of relief here…
The shot wasn’t that bad, I just hate needles. And I have been way better around professionals, but I just couldn’t get it through my head that my family was about to poke me in the rear with a needle!
Anyway, it burned for about 10 minutes and then I felt some very dull ovary cramping (could have been because I was thinking about it…lol) and then nothing. I had cramping on Wednesday and Thursday with no positive OPK and an u/s to confirm I still had follicles on Thursday morning. BFN OPK last night even with the spotting, which got heavier (by heavier, I mean it went from light pink to dark red and more spotting as the evening went on).
This morning, BFP OPK! So that is a good thing. Spotting so far is dark brown and I have no other ovulation symptoms except dry cm. So…it kind of sounds like my body did what it was supposed to…maybe? With some random fluke? Or I ovulated last night…?? Even though I didn’t get a positive OPK…I dunno, guys!!

RE said he is not worried, that spotting isn’t uncommon and that he wants to do the IUI. I felt better after that. There was always the chance it wouldn’t work even if everything went according to plan. So it was always a gamble. He is going to put me on progesterone and we are going forward.
A sweet woman from one of my support groups on FB told me that she had the same thing and after a few cycles, wound up pregnant. So I guess I need to stop listening to my crazy Clomid-driven hormones (which, btw, are starting to drive me nuts!! I feel nuts lol) and trust my RE and God to take care of this situation. *sigh* It’s just not as easy as it sounds!!

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