May 17, 2011

I had my well woman exam today and it went about the way I expected. Barry promised me one more month of trying and if nothing we would look into our others options…now of course that time is here and he is out-right refusing to discuss it.
Dr. Scott went back on what she offered initially as well. Before, she said we would do Clomid if I wasn’t pregnant by now. She now feels that because I am actually ovulating, I have the normal 2 week wait after ovulation until AF comes, I’m young, and I got pregnant before…that I need to just keep trying and relax. Clomid is more for women who have more irregular cycles and less predictable ovulation or no ovulation at all. Also, I’m on cd9 so I wouldn’t have been able to start it anyhow. So if I fail at babymaking for a whole year, then I try clomid…at least, that’s how it was pitched to me today instead of what I was told a month ago. Poo. I understand, though. So I’m supposed to relax becaue I’m young and there is no reason I shouldn’t be pregnant rigt now. All while continuing to chart symptoms and have the constant reminder of not being pregnant by peeing on a stick everyday. And she added the oh so overdone nugget of advice, “when you stop thinking about it is when it will happen”. So I flat out asked for a script for birth control. That prompted her to say, “well I understand wanting to start it for a month or so just to get the pressure off and relax. But you will start trying again…right?” About 50 times. Literally. So 50 times I had to say, “no…I am literally done.” My Deplin isn’t covered by insurance and is super expensive, and the stress of all of this is just getting to be too much. She wrote me a script for beYaz which has folic acid in it that stays in your system for a while after discontiuning use. This is easier. No more painful periods, or planned sex, or fighting over this, or heartache over that BFN. So this is my last TTC entry! Cause we are officially not TTC anymore! Feels nice to say that.
So I got 2 starter packs of my new meds and I get to stop testing everyday. 🙂 got my spotting question answered as well…basically it was I. Response to getting off the meds and it completely normal. She asked if it stopped when I ovulated and it did. She nodded again and said that was normal. Next month I go in to have my levels doubled checked but I shouldn’t have anymore spotting, and so far haven’t! So yay for that.
I got some paperwork on open adoption in the mail today. I’ve been waiting for it. Barry was less than thrilled to see it but I was happy. I liked getting some real info without making any kind of commitment or talking to anyone. The price is actually better than I thought and we could adopt a newborn. That’s pretty exciting. I’m a bit appehensive about open adoption though and I need to do some more research/ask some more questions.
After that, barry got the yard mowed and my plants planted in the ground. I hope they do well because we have been without rain for so long and the heat is starting to come back.
I took tomorrow off, so I get to sleep in and relax for the day. I may go get a massage and I know I’m going bathing suit shopping for Gulf Shores so that’s exciting. 🙂 no other plans for the day.
I guess that’s it for now. Barry is watching tv so no discussion about the papers currently sitting infront of him.
So obviously, there are still many things to work out but as of right now, I’m feeling alright with everything.

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3 Replies to “May 17, 2011”

  1. As one mother I’ve read to put it, the odds are every adoption is going to have a degree of openness with it. Whether it’s a post-it note stuck to the front of a file with somebody’s name on it or a revised birth certificate sent to the birth parents (!), in the age of Internet and Facebook, if the birth parents want to find the child after adoption, they can.
    Depending on the people involved, it can be a problem or a blessing.
    Dorothy and her husband have adopted quite a few children–all through private agencies and all infants.
    Also, page breaks, woman!

  2. So, does this mean you and Barry are going to quit TTC all together or just for now? I support you guys either way and hope that whichever path you take that the outcome is a happy one. 🙂

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