Just got back from my appointment and learned that I’m one in a million, yay! MTHFR is what I officially have. It’s basically a genetic mutation that prevents my body from being able to absorb folic acid, thus causing neural tube defects and miscarriage. It also seems to go hand-in-hand with immune diseases and deficiencies, which I have.
The good news is that it is possible to have a healthy pregnancy. I have been prescribed a folic acid that will deliver 1,000 times the amount a normal person would need and I have to start taking it after my first cycle. I haven’t had a cycle since the surgery and I was told not to expect a normal 28-day one. After 2 cycles we can start actively trying to get pregnant. The thing Barry is most excited about is the fact that I am off pelvic rest. Merry Christmas to us! hehe
They drew more blood to test my thyroid and make sure I am showing no HcG hormones (thyroids apparently get screwy after pregnancy and if I still show HcG levels, it means my body still thinks I am pregnant, thus no menstural cycle) I think everything is fine, but I’m glad she is checking. I felt like I ovulated this month (I also felt the horrible pain of my cyst) and I don’t know anything about thyroids (Abby says I wouldn’t notice anything, it’s hormonal), but I would assume that something would feel different if there was anything wrong. I feel fine.
I was told to get off the iron supplements because even though having MTHFR means that I anemic, I am not lacking in iron and too much iron could actually make me ill.
The thing I am focused on now is getting a period (weird thing to fixate on) and finding out if this will cause problems in my life without pregnancy in the picture.
Barry was so funny at the exam. She shooed my mom and sister out of the room (along for moral support and to ask questions) and Barry tried to leave with them. She made him sit there while she did an internal exam and he was so uncomfortable that he played on his cell phone and ignored all her chatter. I asked him what was wrong when we got in the car and he said, “I don’t want to see the clinical side of it, I just want to keep the sexual side of it”. I thought it was funny, but I did tell him that he is crazy. How does he think it is going to be when I am giving birth? lol I am totally fine with it because having someone down there has become a pretty normal part of life. But he needs to get over that! He is so forward thinking about so many things but this one caught be off guard.
The other thing I learned was that he is angry. Like super angry about our loss. He hasn’t spoken about it since the surgery but he has been acting different. I know he is stressed at work and has a lot on his plate so I just kind of figured that was it. After talking with Nate on Sunday, he realized that it was a deep anger that was causing the problem. I’m sad for him because it manifested as sadness in me and I have been dealing with it since day one. Talking, sharing with others, researching, reading, praying and hoping. But Barry has just sat there, unmoving. So I guess I can see how it could become overwhelming and eventually boil over into this intense anger.
My little brother is here staying the night, so we haven’t had the opportunity to talk since my appointment, but I plan to talk with him tonight. I want to find out where he stands. I certainly don’t want to rush him into anything but I am hoping that the appointment helped and not hurt him. If, after 2 more weeks he still feels this way, I will suggest that he talks to someone, because it’s not healthy after that.
I think a part of me will always be sad. I will always be a mother and Barry will always be a father, but I found a healing inside that he hasn’t experienced yet. It hasn’t made the situation go away, just made it easier to handle. Especially after today. After getting some answers.
Anyway, I hope the next 6-8 weeks fly by and that 2011 will bring us the new and exciting adventure of pregnancy.
If I don’t update again before Christmas, have a wonderful day!! 🙂


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