Summer Pictures

I’m sitting here in the dark nursing Wyatt and wishing I had something profound to say. Lack of sleep and baby brain will suck the life right out of you. #thankswyatt
Since making the decision to stay home, I have been very focused on my new mom job and finding a rhythm.
I’ve been working on ways to help make my day feel more meaningful (as if 3 underfoot doesn’t do it for me…).
But I feel like I keep coming up short.
I want to end my day feeling like I’ve accomplished more than the laundry (which seems to *never* end).

This, naturally, leads to many conversations about feelings of mom guilt and being able to do it all for my kids. Am I doing enough? Do my children feel loved? Am I challenging them? How many times did I say “no” today? Blah blah blah…you guys know what I mean. I think all moms have been there. We all worry about our kids and about our parenting abilities.

As Ruby grows, I can see our need for her ECI services fading.
As Wyatt grows, I can see him being the “little big brother”.
As Eli grows, I can see how far he has come and the person he is becoming is more clear.

Yet, it still feels like there is always something. Something to learn, something to add to my list of therapies or things to look out for, something to teach my children, something to worry about.
I have always found the 3 month mark to be a time when baby becomes a bit easier and you begin to fall into a routine. This is where we are at right now. Falling into our daily pattern. So I’ve decided not to muck it up with worry. Not to freak out about the small stuff, and to embrace this short season.

With that, I will leave you with some summer fun pictures. Because it makes the mom guilt melt faster than they can all load up on this page. Because this season is short and because, damnit, my kids are happy and thriving. Isn’t that what we all want?














Moving Mountains

I’ve been a bit stressed lately, mostly about things that are out of my control, but I wouldn’t be me if I weren’t worried about something (seriously, I’m the worst…).
As I go into my 6th week of being a SAHM (but who’s counting, right?) I have noticed Eli has hit a plateau. I was cruising through my new gig, feeling like I was #thebestmomever when I realized that Eli’s speech has kind of stalled out. So I spent an entire day trying to get Eli to talk, only for both of us to go to bed frustrated and crying. I know I can’t get him to talk in one day, but my mind ran crazy with fears of the future…a non verbal future.

A future that the world has projected onto others with disabilities. And a false vision I let settle in and whisper stinky hatred in my ear during moments of mom guilt weakness.

I’m so glad that God has got my back, because at exactly the right time, I got an email about Elisha’s inspiring journey. I literally couldn’t stop smiling as I read about his trip.
The story comes from Emote360, which works globally to provide education, respite care, and retreats for children and families who have a disability. Pretty amazing, huh? Well this year they are filming a documentary on Elisha’s trek up Mt. Everest. Yup…he climbed Mt. Everest.

I think of all the dreams I have for my Eli, all the dreams I have for all three of my children, and never once did something so amazing as “climb Mt. Everest” cross my mind. In my darkest moments, I worried that all I could hope for was the picture this harsh world has painted for people with disabilities. Limited and devoid of opportunity. I’m on a mission to change that view, and I know Eli is too. I want everything Eli wants for himself and more. Not just getting married, or going to college, or living on his own…bigger, better dreams. I can’t think of anything more amazing than what Emote360 and Elisha are trying to do with this awesome story.

“In 2013, Elisha (Eli) became the first American with Down Syndrome and second youngest person with Down Syndrome ever, to reach Base Camp at Mt. Everest. The trek to Everest Base Camp served as a fundraiser for the organization as well as a tremendous awareness campaign, shining a light on those with special needs.

Building on the success of the Everest Trek (followed by every major news source and seen by millions of people around the world), Emote360 will be shooting a full-production documentary film on TEF’s upcoming trek to Mt. Kilimanjaro, highlighting the stories of trekkers who both have disability or have lived with disability in some form in their life.

The goal of the documentary is to raise awareness for those who live with disability on a global scale, and to inspire those who feel they can’t make a difference that they can change the world, no matter their personal challenges.”

Emote360 is seeking $45,000 to film this documentary to accommodate for multiple airline tickets, gear and personal expenses for a crew of three people. That’s small potatoes compared for the big future awaiting our kiddos. Eli may never talk but why would I let something like my own fears or mom guilt affect his future? Eli is exactly where be needs to be. And Elisha is too.
Check out Emote360 to help fund their efforts. I love this project and I love what his journey represents.
I am looking forward to so much for Eli. He’s moving mountains in his own way, reaching new heights and changing people’s’ perceptions every day.

Mr. Lucky- 3 Months


IMG_46761Age: 3 months
Weight: 14lb 5oz
Length: 2ft .5in
Head: 40.64cm
Size: 3-6mo clothes, size 2 diapers but size 3 at night
Eyes: dark blue
Hair: all gone! It has nearly all fallen out- that dark beautiful head of hair!! :( mommy was sad about it. All that remains is cradle cap and some brown tufts. Some blonde peach fuzz is coming in…so we will see!
Sleeping: 2-3 naps a day, waking 1-2 times at night.
Eating: nursing like a champ.
Milestones: talks all the time. This boy loves to tell you what’s on his mind. He’s close to rolling over but not there yet. He loves to sit in his bumbo chair and sit in mommy’s lap to watch everyone else.
Teeth: none
Favorite toys/activities: loves to look at anyone and smile while you talk to him. Loves his swaddle.
Words/sounds: ooo, aaah, goo, whoo…
Nicknames: Mr. Lucky
Looking forward to: rolling over and crawling so he can spend more time playing with Ruby and Eli. :)


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